my biggest achievement today was..
i DIDNT sleep in tutorial! everyone exclaim "wow" pls. :))

lunch with classmates were not bad. =) quite fun too and everyone were quite united. HAHA. i'm beginning to feel a sense of belonging here.

still considering on whether to sign up NP ambassadors. hmmm should i? it's gona be fun but i rly dont want to be tied down by commitments. at least, right till now, i dont like commitments of anykind. r/s, work, study.. whatever you name it. what's more, i'm working and it's definitely impossible for me to forsake work for play?

i'm facing some problems at the moment and i dont know what to do at all? i admit, i'm lost. so very lost.
maybe some wont understand why i'm working so hard, but... i'm earning for my own expenses. i just dont want to be that small gal that constantly ask parents for cash. they dont print money, yea? and... what's more, i've the time, why not spend it on sth useful? i'm trying to gain independance but it's not a must.. just, i rly rly seriously want to be able to... pay all of my 3 yrs sch fees by myself, since.. the first payment was made by me.

you know, getting sth you rly badly needed by your own means... is rly sth to be proud of? at least, this makes me happy too? i know, by working and studying at the same time.. means i'm missing out lots of fun that only happens in these 3 yrs. but i cant have everything right?

it's a choice i've made and i wont regret..
dont worry, i'll still treasure friends and family more than anything. just rmber, before every weds.. tell me when's the day for the next outing.. and i promise, i'll try not to work on that day. something's bothering me, but no.. i wont say it out here.

i've my own problems too but do anyone even tried to ask/understand? now sth else is adding on to my problems and that's the ultimate reason for me feeling lost. PLS BE SENSIBLE? stubborness wont help.. giving in, trying to understand.. might help more than you know. practically everyone think that i wont feel sad at all or i'm rly carefree. now everything's piling up and i know..

either things will turn out nicely or.. i'll lose grip of everything and a friend.
yet, do i even have a choice to turn down on helping when... there's no other options given? i'm equally worried and getting rather irritated with the many faces and i dont seem to understand you at all anymore? tell me/prove to me.. that i'm wrong with every facts that i know of.

i dont know what else can i say or cannot.
i'm drop dead tired...